Is it hard to be a good friend? A Look at Girls and Friendship

me amie lisa

Me, Lisa, Amie at winery

I don’t know what I would do without my girlfriends–I am one of those people that keeps in touch with everyone. It is much easier nowadays with text messaging and social media. My husband keeps track of my friends based on how I met them: Is she your high school friend? MOPS friend? Writer friend? College friend? Teacher friend? etc. I’m lucky. And I hope I’m so lucky because I’m a good friend in return and bring something of value to the relationship.

But not all girls or women are good friends.There are some that are downright terrible at it. You are probably nodding your head. These are girls or women who talk about each other, drop friends as soon as they get a guy, are completely inconsiderate, and sometimes, downright mean. I remember watching Oprah one time, and she had on an episode about toxic relationships and breaking up with friends. I thought how very hard that would be to break up with a friend–harder than a boyfriend, in my opinion. But I know it has to be done and should be done sometimes.

This subject has been on my mind a lot lately because when you get reviews as an author, many reviewers comment on your main character. So, poor 17-year-old Julie is often criticized for a thing or two (although the review I received the other day from Alexa S on LitPick said Julie showed a lot of growth!), and I feel bad because I created her in Caught Between Two Curses. But I couldn’t have a main character who was perfect, and so I gave her some flaws. One that hasn’t even been pointed out yet, so maybe I should keep my mouth shut, is that she isn’t really a very good friend to Nancy, who is another senior in high school and part of the group Julie hangs out with. Julie is a great girlfriend and friend to Matt, and she is a good niece and cousin, but poor Nancy. . .

What does Julie do to Nancy? Well, Nancy and Matt are going to homecoming together, and then Julie kisses Matt. (This is a bit of a spoiler alert, but I won’t go into anything else. . .) Or maybe Matt kisses Julie. Either way, Nancy likes Matt a lot. Nancy and Julie are good friends. Julie and Matt kiss. I put this in the book because this kind of stuff happens all the time with groups of people that hang out together, and Julie does feel bad about it–terrible, actually.  Eventually, she and Nancy work through their issues. But still. . .this is not a good friend, and I don’t know why I did that in my book. I would never kiss someone else’s boyfriend. I don’t think that’s ever happened in my life, but out it came in my writing-I guess I was trying to add tension.

That said, what makes a good friend? How do you forgive a friend if she does something like Julie did? Does it make you mad when you read the main character was not a good friend or daughter or wife in a book? Just some musings on this today.

BY THE WAY, it’s also All-Star Week in honor of MLB’s All-Star game tonight. I am celebrating with a contest and sale since there’s some baseball in my book. You can find out all the details about the sale here, but basically, the e-book for KINDLE is on sale for 99 cents today (July 15), $1.99 (July 16-17), and $2.99 (July 18-19). An autographed copy of the print book is available for $5.00 off the cover price–$6.95 on my blog here. Thanks to All-Star week, I am also having a contest with a prize of one $25 gift card to one of 5 restaurants (Olive Garden, Starbucks, Panera Bread, Applebee’s, TGI Friday’s) (U.S. mailing addresses only please) and a 3000-word free edit (anywhere in the world, English-language only). Enter to win those prizes on the Rafflecopter form below—no purchase necessary!


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1 Comment

  • You’re right – it wasn’t nice of Julie – but girls aren’t always nice. I’d say it makes your book more realistic, and I suspect there are a lot of girls who can identify with that situation (on both sides of the issue).

    On a personal note, friendships are so very important. Unfortunately, in today’s whirlwind of life and technology, sometimes friendships are glossed over. That’s why it is so important that we take a moment here or there to connect with our friends. They help us stay sane! :)

So, what do you think?