8 Oct

The Memory of the Sandwich Generation or Pay Attention, Margo!


My hubby thinks he’s funny.

Life always seems to get in the way of what I planned to write for my Sandwich Generation posts, and it’s happened again. I know some of you are waiting to hear more about being an advocate for loved 0nes, but I am feeling called instead to post about another problem Sandwich Generationers  have–our lack of memory and ability to do silly things because:

  1. We have a lack of sleep from taking care of little ones and working.
  2. We worry over our parents.
  3. We are constantly organizing activities between our little ones and retired parents.

So, what happened to make me write about this today?

Last night, I lost my ATM card at the ATM machine, and I cannot 100 percent tell you that it’s because the machine ate it. I won’t be surprised if it turns up somewhere like the car or my purse.

Here’s what happened:

If you follow me on Facebook (if you are not following me on Facebook, what are you thinking?), you’ll know that my laptop is about to terminate –any minute. So, yesterday, I took the almost 3-year-old to Best Buy with me to buy a new laptop. I went there knowing exactly which laptop I wanted. (BTW, this is not the laptop I left with after talking to the very knowledgeable customer service rep.) But still taking a 3-year-old to Best Buy after dinner and going to the section with all the touch screens is quite an adventure. While talking with the rep, my husband calls and says, “So, I need to talk to you about my paychecks.”

Yes, folks, my hubby works for the federal government. Did you realize there’s a shutdown??? because somehow we’ve lost our minds in this country or  there’s not enough oxygen in Washington, D.C. Anyway, VERY long story-short, he has been working as an air traffic controller since October 1, but there’s no one in the payroll office to process his hours, so he won’t get paid. (Yes, yes, he will eventually get paid, and I’m just hoping all the bill collectors are as understanding and willing to work with us as the House is willing to work with Obama, but I digress. . .) ANYWAY, KB is touching computers, Rick is talking to me on the phone about no money coming in, and I am thinking, OKAY, we have good pumpkin patch funcredit, we’ll just do the 18-month financing right now that BB offers.

We buy the laptop and leave the store. I call my dad–to tell him about the shutdown news and to check on my mom who is suffering from a terrible cold at the moment. As I’m talking to him while at  the ATM and trying to deposit a check. I also couldn’t find a pen. Now, I realize this is not smart–talking on the phone while using the ATM–I never really thought it was dangerous, but it turns out it is. Also, you shouldn’t talk about upsetting topics such as the government shutdown.  I couldn’t find a pen; the ATM was beeping at me; and KB was in the back singing at the top of her lungs a song from THE LITTLE MERMAID. And somehow when all this was done, I never deposited my check, AND I didn’t have my ATM card.

I have to admit at this point, I cried.  KB says, “Mommy, are you sad? Are you crying?”

I said, “Yes.”

She said, “Me too.” And started crying.

Talk about feeling AWFUL–so I quickly dried my tears, decided to call PNC when I got home and explain the completely stupid thing that just happened, even though I’m not exactly sure what had just happened, and drove home.

A new ATM card is on its way.

In the past month or so, I have:

  • Put the mayo in the pantry and the peanut butter in the fridge
  • Left the keys in the door all day until my hubby came home
  • Gone to the store to buy __________ and come home with everything except ____________
  • A few other things I was going to add to this list, but now I can’t remember. . .

I could go on, but you might stop reading this entirely and think: This lady needs a brain. I am blaming it on my Sandwich Generation status. I am of “Advanced Maternal Age” and chasing around a toddler while also trying to help my parents (Or them trying to help me) as much as possible.

I would love to hear some of the silly things you have done to make me feel better about myself!


  • Oh, Margo, I’m sorry but I laughed. I laughed because you made me think of all the times I had to laugh to keep from crying–and the couple times I just threw in the towel and cried.

    But in the spirit of cheering you up, I’ll share the time I was fussing with the hubs–I don’t remember about what, only that all the kids were around (and the two oldest were teenagers, so trust me, it was a stressful period) and we were on our back screened-in porch. In the midst of the argument, hubs bumped his head on a hanging plant and had some choice words, but I shall paraphrase here: “This &^*^plant is driving me crazy!”

    I grabbed the plant from the hook. “This plant?” I said. And I walked out to the deck (it’s two stories above the yard below) and said, “Well, it won’t bother you anymore!” And I FLUNG the plant over the railing and it soared through the air, finally landing with a thud on the ground. At which point, my youngest (who was about 9) turned to his dad and said, “I don’t think you should’ve said that to Mommy.”

    I seemed to recall a good cry then. But now, we often laugh about the hanging plant that took a header. Or what the kids like to call, “The Day Mom Went Nuts.”

    (Hope you feel better! And I heartily recommend flinging something. Preferably NOT something alive.) :-)

    • Okay, I laughed out loud at this! I love that you threw the plant and then the 9 year old has to chime in. Someone always has to chime in. :)

      I do feel better today. Actually writing that post and making fun of myself made me feel better. Plus the PNC lady was really quite nice and charming, and she said she didn’t think I was crazy. She said it was just probably a good idea that I get a new ATM card since I wasn’t exactly sure where my card was. . .:) LOL

  • Mine isn’t nearly as dramatic as yours, but my latest has been the day I started the washer, then realized it was time to Frontline the cat again, so I chased her through the house and dragged her out from under the bed, only to lose her again when the phone rang with a client call I absolutely had to take, and I got a call waiting signal from my daughter because she needed a pick-up, and since I didn’t answer her call immediately on the home phone she called my cell, so the client could hear Sheryl Crow belting out Gonna Follow the Sun while I was trying to be professional. I finally got rid of all the phone calls, managed to hold the cat long enough to get more Frontline on her than on me, ran to pick up my daughter, got a phone call from my mother en route to see if I could run a “quick” errand for her that took another hour. Finally, I arrived home and went to transfer the clothes in the washer to the dryer, only to find the tub completely empty. I started the water and added the soap first, like always, but got sidetracked too quickly to remember to actually add the dirty clothes.

    • Joanie:
      Thank you, thank you. Actually, you had me at your daughter called you on the cell phone since you didn’t pick up the home phone. I actually do that to my mom all the time. . .:) Oh and the cat and the Frontline. I thought dogs were hard. . .my dog flips out every time he sees me coming with the little green plastic tube.

  • Oh, and yes, I found this blog post because we’re FB friends :)

  • Well, for now my absentmindedness is due to pregnancy, but I can soon blame it on being a Sandwicher myself. Recently, I have:

    1) Asked my assistant for a folder that I just *knew* I had given to her a few weeks earlier. When she couldn’t produce it, I’ll admit I was a little frustrated, as I distinctly remembered processing everything in it and then putting it in her inbox to file. After we both tore up the office looking for it…and I tore up my work bag looking for it…and tore up the house looking for it…I found it in between the seat and the console in my car (where I’d actually had it last during the event it was for!). Although I was never mean to my assistant, I did apologize profusely and told her from now on she just shouldn’t trust anything I said to her until after I return from maternity leave! :)

    2) My office requires me to swipe my ID to unlock the door. Twice today I have “lost” my ID…while IN the office!! The second time it happened I seriously thought I was going to have to find someone to help me look for it because I could. not. find. it. It ended up being right where it should have been, but was turned over and was blending in with the desk. But still, to lose it in the office twice (so far) in one day is a bit extreme… :(

    3) Way too often I make a specific trip to a room or open a specific drawer or cabinet and then cannot for the life of me remember why…

    I’m sure I’ve done 15 other crazy things lately, but like you, I can’t remember what they were! Hang in there!! :)

    • Oh Teresa–just wait until you add to the mix when your child is going to eat, if you are going to have to nurse in public or could you make it until you got home or should you pump and . . .. etc, etc, etc!! I love the ID story and I bet your assistant might be thinking the same thing the PNC girl was thinking last night.

  • Not too long ago I had to send a facebook message to my daughter in the dorms to please call my cell phone so that I could find it (we don’t have a land line). I cannot count how many times I’ve been talking on the phone while getting ready to go out somewhere, and then go into a panic when I cannot find the phone (while still talking on it).

    • I love this story. I have done similar things. :) I am thinking this is just a common problem of women with genius minds.

  • Oh this made me laugh, definitely not AT you but for sure WITH you. I have had reading glasses (the cheap Walmart cheaters I buy by the half dozen) end up in the refrigerator, much to my teenage children’s delight. I’ve left my wallet on top of my car at gas stations, and yes, drove off without them. Once while cross-country skiing with my husband, I told him about losing my pair of sunglasses and having to scrounge up another pair. He looked at my face at my scrounged pair and then on top of my head at the pair I thought I’d lost.

    I could go on and on, but how much humiliation can one woman stand?

    I’m with ya, sistah. It’s enough to make me take a bottle of wine to the bubble bath and forget the world.

    • You could have told your husband you were just making sure he was paying attention. :) Thanks for sharing, Julie!

  • I know you’re a busy person, so you don’t have time to hear all the stupid stuff I’ve done, but let’s just say that ice cream goes IN the freezer, not on top.

    Oh, and if you have a lake house NEVER leave a bag of potatoes unattended in a locked up cabin for a month. YIKES do they ever stink.

    And do NOT become a creature of habit or your family will do pranks on you to make you think you’re nuts. Every Wednesday my friend Barb and I go to Weight Watchers and then run errands. A lot of times those errands involve Michael’s. We came out one day and could not find my car. It was not in the parking lot. After we walked up and down almost every aisle, my cell phone rang and it was my daughter asking what I was doing. After I spilled my guts about losing my car, she cracked up laughing. She and my husband were sitting in an adjacent parking lot in her car with my car parked right beside them. The pranksters had moved it on me.

    • OH MY GOODNESS! THAT IS NOT NICE! :) We need to think of a good prank to play on them. :) Now about the ice cream. . .if you like it melted, what better place to put it than on top of the fridge? Love you!

So, what do you think?