For a while, I’ve been wanting to write about this topic: What Do You Really Need To Worry About? as it pertains to new moms, moms in the NICU, moms with young children, and members of the Sandwich Generation. So, I’m starting a series of posts, that will be posted on Tuesdays (my Lit Ladies’ blog day), and here’s the reason why. ..
We all worry about TOO MUCH STUFF.
We read the INTERNET TOO OFTEN.
We get so many different opinions from SO MANY people, authors, bloggers, etc, that we drive ourselves crazy.
As many of you know, I was 39 when I finally got pregnant with KB. It was not easy for several reasons, and so I thought that I needed to do EVERYTHING right because this was it–my only chance to have a baby, and I didn’ t want to screw anything up. So, when I moved to St. Louis from Mahomet, IL, at 28 weeks, I decided to start taking the new parenting classes at the hospital where we were giving birth. At first, my hubby could come with me–and then his work schedule changed suddenly, and I had to bring my mom.
Imagine the shock on all the young couple’s faces when clearly the oldest woman in the class, who could no longer wear her wedding ring on her swollen fingers, now had to bring her mother to the birthing class because her husband could not attend.
My mom and I sat and listened to the sometimes useful, often completely stressful information, this class provided from breathing techniques (useful) to bouncing on a ball (when having labor pains–not useful) to the hospital tour (useful) to packing your hospital bag (not useful).
After four weeks, in the class and the tour of the hospital the night before, my water broke and I didn’t finish the last 2 classes. Guess what? I didn’t have a bag packed either–no iPod with relaxing music, no candle for aromatherapy, no photo of my daughter in the womb, no toothbrush, etc.
And. . . I survived, and my daughter, who is now a thriving three-year-old, did, too.
And my husband, Mom, and Dad drove home and got my computer and other stuff once I gave birth and everything was okay. We only lived 20 minutes from the hospital.
There is NOTHING wrong with being prepared and packing a bag. There’s nothing wrong with getting maternity photos or sending birth announcements or getting newborn photos or the other thousands of things that new moms and dads feel like they have to do before and just after giving birth. But that’s not what is actually important. If you have limited time, if you don’t feel well, if you don’t want to take a class or read another book, then don’t. You will be fine. Really. I’m living proof, and so is my daughter.
When she was born, all of my shower gifts were still in the boxes, on a table downstairs at my parents’ house (as we had no house in St. Louis). Not ONE THING was washed in Dreft. KB didn’t have a crib or any clothes that fit her as a preemie. I had no bag packed and was in the middle of teaching an online class and still doing my book review column when my water broke. IT. ALL. WORKED. OUT.
In this society, we spend so much time worrying about things that don’t matter–we are almost over-educated about some issues. These next few posts of mine will get down to what really matters and stop stressing yourself out. (And I’m hoping in the meantime, I learn something myself, too.)
Photos from Creative Commons, http://www.flickr.com