It happens right? Well, I haven’t been in this depth of funk in a long time. I have a ton of ideas running around in my head, but still can’t arrange them into words. It’s so frustrating! I am sure many of you have been where I am now and possibly have some advice; I would love to hear it. I’m a writer, so maybe writing down why I’m in a writers funk will help?
My intention from this post is to show all of you, that no one is perfect no matter what they project to the world. We are human with limitations. I need to realize my limitations. Maybe this will help some of you. I’m not complaining I love my life, just needed to share.
Here is where I am (in “Author” order – not in order of importance):
1. KrossRoads, I am totally in love with this book. I reached out and found many Beta readers that are so excited to help me. That is wonderful and I am so grateful. Although, now I have put so much pressure on myself to complete the novel, make it fantastic, and satisfy everyone, that I can’t even write a word. It’s driving me crazy! I know the story, I know my characters, but still the words elude me.
2. The Flame: The second book in the Sparkler series. I recently did The Shrunken Manuscript post. Well, I found major issues with the book. Now I am rethinking everything that I have written. I am pretty sure I need to cut about half of it and I can’t seem to bring myself to work on it. After slaving away getting words on the pages, to cut them is like cutting an arm off. It needs to happen for the book to be what it needs to be, I know that. I just need courage.
3. Distractions! I have a great project that I am working on to complete my writing oasis. I bought a new HUGE gazebo for the deck, I need to finish building the furniture, making the pillows, and getting it all together. I think in my mind, “When that’s done, I’ll be able to write”. Silly, I know, but it’s still a huge distraction. I am not one to ask for help, and that is a major problem I have. I need to suck it up and call my dad to help me finish it. (I’ll do that today…promise)
4. Family: I have three kids and every night we have something going on. Life has become so busy. My teenager (16), like most teens is trying to kill me with aggravation. Any suggestions of some long lost parenting book would be much appreciated! (HA – if there was one, I would of found it by now.) My little girls are great, fun, and oh so cute. I love all my kids and I want to spend as much quality time with them as I can. So, how do I manage that and write? Grrrr….another impossible question.
5. Husband: My husband is amazing! I am talking about the best dad around! BUT – he has been traveling (5 days this week alone) so much lately. You don’t realize how much you need someone till they are gone. His work is very important and it’s a large project. I completely understand. Although there is no end in sight and I have no idea when the traveling will settle down. He’s my other half, without him around I feel overwhelmed. I guess I better get used to it. Suggestions?
6. Day job: Yes – like most new writers I have a full-time day job. I love it, I love the people I work with, but there is a lot of stress that comes with it. We are in “re-org” mode, meaning some people might lose their jobs, some might be relocated, and some might leave on their own. It’s so uncertain at this time, and I really don’t like not knowing. Stress just keeps building and building. I know I can’t change anything that will or won’t happen. Those decisions are WAY above my pay grade, but I still worry. (Yes – I am a huge worrier – another part of me that is hard to control) I am not in a financial position to leave my day job so that is not an option at this time, maybe someday, but not today.
7. Weather: I am pretty sure I have the winter blues. I need spring to get here and rejuvenate me. I need sun; I swear I am part flower sometimes. Yet – another thing out of my control.
8. Physically: I am in good health, I can’t complain about that. BUT – I have gained TOO much weight this winter. I can’t fit into my cute clothes and that really pisses me off. This IS in my control, but it’s also another thing I need to fit into an already impossibly busy schedule.
Can you see why the Lit Ladies gave me the title of “Busy Lady”?
Suggestions? Tips? (Oh – I don’t Yoga, so that is out *smiley face*)
Just another day in the life of a Busy Lady!